ArticleBlog | Bereavement, pandemic and the church – The church should be in the thick of it
Bereavement, pandemic and the church – The church should be in the thick of it
Author: Andy PeckPost Date: 17.09.21
For months the headlines have been full of statistics about death and dying, and stories about bereavement. In January this year, the Church of England Life Events team decided to do some research to explore the impact and find out more about where the church fits in with the experience of grief. We did short online interviews with over 2000 people across England, aged 18 to 75. For the research report summary, see the Church Support Hub at www.churchsupporthub.org/funerals/downloads
Research reveals patterns. Sometimes those patterns seem at odds with our own anecdotes and experience. When we discovered that 62% of respondents knew someone who had died in the last year where they would have gone to the funeral [and 40% had experienced the death of someone close to them], it seemed a lot. Then each of us stopped to think. And stopped to remember. I looked around my own friends and colleagues and realised how many of us have been touched by grief this year – the close friend, a grandparent, a parent, a friend’s parent, a neighbour, a fellow worshipper. So many who are no longer with us. So many funerals not attended.
The impact of restricted funerals In 2019, there were 530,000 deaths in England and Wales. Almost all of those were marked with funerals, attended by friends and relatives, showing respect, sharing love and giving support. Provisional figures for 2020 show there were 608,000 deaths in England and Wales – and that means 600,000 limited funerals, where fewer people were present, and the experience was changed from all that might have been expected and planned.
The research helped us understand the impact of these restricted funerals, as eight out of ten people said they had felt that funeral wishes and expectations were not fulfilled. A similar number felt they were unable to say goodbye properly. For some, it was because of the fear of Covid, for others a reluctance to travel, but for most it was simply the restriction in numbers that stopped them attending. The past 15 months has not just affected attendance at funerals, but the whole process of dying and grief. Many were unable to visit friends or family, either before a death or to show support afterwards, and almost half of respondents felt strongly that they needed more support in their grief, with almost three-quarters feeling that grieving had been affected, not just because of whether a funeral was attended.
