Blog | How do I respond to challenging behaviours?
How do I respond to challenging behaviours?
Author: Andy PeckPost Date: 15.03.25
I have the privilege to mentor some wonderful Christian leaders. Our conversations grapple with what it means to faithfully respond to and cooperate with the work of God’s Spirit in their soul and circumstances.
One of the most engaging and puzzling questions we consider is how to act in ways that are consistent with Reflect, recognise, regulate God’s character when confronted by behaviour of others that we find offensive or negatively provocative. And this becomes even more sharply challenging when those behaviours are exhibited by the same people on a regular basis.
Are there some individuals in your circle of influence whose behaviour gets under your skin to the point that, when you see them approaching, or a message pops up with their name on it, you inwardly groan and mutter to yourself, ‘Here we go again’? I’m thinking here of the person who is always complaining, finding fault with entrenched negativity. Or the person who has an inflated idea of their importance and wisdom and makes sweeping assertions about matters they don’t understand. Or the person who seeks to manipulate you through bullying, deception or flattery. No doubt, you can name other examples of behaviour that exasperate you.
You might expect to encounter these behaviours when working with unbelievers in outreach ministries, in the neighbourhood and in secular workplaces. What is less expected, yet nevertheless real, is that these behaviours may turn up among congregation members and even in leadership teams and governance boards. Let’s be clear about this: we need to be careful not to misinterpret the behaviour of others when we are in an intercultural context. What is offensive and provocative in one culture may not be viewed that way at all in another culture.
